Here's why the internet is conflicted over Chappell Roan's motherhood comments

People have big thoughts

Chappell Roan performs during Lollapalooza at Grant Park on August 01, 2024 in Chicago, Illinois.
(Image credit: Getty Images)

Chappell Roan has once again ignited a passionate debate online over comments she's made.

Last week, the popstar appeared on the latest episode of the podcast Call Her Daddy, and the conversation turned to whether she's still friends with people from back home in Missouri.

After telling host Alex Cooper that she is still friends with them, she added: "We have such different lives. A lot of them are married with children, and like, they have their own houses, and like, to me, I'm like, I don't know when that's gonna happen for me. Like, I don't know when that is realistic, if ever."

Asked if she wanted marriage and children, Chappell replied that she didn't know, but did say this: "All of my kids who have kids are in hell. I don't know anyone—I actually don't know anyone who's, like, happy and has children at this age. I have, like a one-year-old, like, three-year-old, four and under, five and under [in my life]. I have literally not met anyone who's happy, anyone who has, like, light in their eyes, anyone who has slept..."

It's worth noting at this stage that she also called her friends "so sweet and so supportive" and was just commenting on how different their lives are.

Chappell Roan: Are People Scared Of Me? (Full Episode) - YouTube Chappell Roan: Are People Scared Of Me? (Full Episode) - YouTube
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However, after the episode aired and these comments started making the rounds, mums everywhere began having Big Thoughts about what Chappell said.

People made TikToks to "introduce" Chappell to young mums who are happy (AKA, themselves).

@brittanyleighball

♬ Art of life - lesfm
@justjacythings

chappell roan’s comment about motherhood being “hell” and “the lack of light in there eyes” is a heavy handed attempt to speak on something she hasn't experienced. It’s one thing to empathize with the struggle of motherhood but she is framing such a personal and complex experience without having lived it. She is acting tone-deaf and even a bit exploitative. For a fan who has children (and who’s children love chappell) it feels off putting to listen to her after that comment. I know people will say “it’s really not that deep” and I agree to a certain extent. these are just my thoughts as a mother.

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Meanwhile, one person wrote on X: "Chappell roan constantly begging us to understand how hard it is to be a celebrity but she just loves music and preforming but can’t apply that same logic to the hardships of motherhood and parenting in todays world while also loving our children is wild."

Then, outlets such as The Times have published essays from mums who similarly disagreed with Chappell's comments.

However, many people — mums or not — absolutely saw where the singer was coming from.

One TikToker explained that she's constantly going back and forth with the idea of having children because she knows how hard it can be:

@tcrfff

♬ original sound - The Cutting Room Floor

Singer Maren Morris, who is a working performer and a single mum, explained that she had no problem with what Chappell said, and added some nuance into the discussion:

@marenmorris

why don’t we have universal healthcare

♬ original sound - marenmorris

A journalist wrote on X: "lol @ Chappell Roan triggering people because she pointed out that having kids super young, before you’ve carved an actual life for yourself, is not a fulfilling way to live. Going straight from school into motherhood needs to be denormalized, experience life as an adult first."

And someone else said: "Why is everyone mad at Chappell Roan’s parenting comments? Parenthood is hard. It’s not always enjoyable. Especially without support, affordable childcare, or a village like we had decades ago. That doesn’t mean it’s all bad, just that it’s not always easy. And that’s okay to say"

What are your thoughts on it all?

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Iris Goldsztajn
Iris Goldsztajn is a celebrity and royal news writer for Marie Claire. As a London-based freelance journalist, she writes about wellness, relationships, pop culture, beauty and more for the likes of InStyle, Women's Health, Bustle, Stylist and Red. Aside from her quasi-personal investment in celebs' comings and goings, Iris is especially interested in debunking diet culture and destigmatising mental health struggles. Previously, she was the associate editor for Her Campus, where she oversaw the style and beauty news sections, as well as producing gift guides, personal essays and celebrity interviews. There, she worked remotely from Los Angeles, after returning from a three-month stint as an editorial intern for Cosmopolitan.com in New York. As an undergraduate at the University of California, Los Angeles, she interned at goop and C California Style and served as Her Campus' national style and LGBTQ+ editor. Iris was born and raised in France by a French father and an English mother. Her Spotify Wrapped is riddled with country music and One Direction, and she can typically be found eating her body weight in cheap chocolate.